As I mentioned in my last post, Surya and I are having an argument about the right-lead canter. More specifically, she does not want to do it and has developed astonishing skill at evading my aids and picking up the left lead instead. The left lead is coming along quite nicely. We started out teaching the canter by bending her a bit to the outside, weighting the outside hind, opening the inside rein, and asking when she steps on the outside hind. This initially worked quite well on both leads. On the left, she now picks up the canter almost at the same moment I ask, and I have started bending her a bit to the inside when asking. She is really moving into the bit on the left lead, and we can speed up and slow down while keeping a balanced and even pace. It’s great! The right, not so much. We were improving, but the past week was a regression.
She pops out her left shoulder, and no matter how much I weight the outside, she waits until she’s stepping with her right hind so she can lurch into the left lead. I’ve been getting very frustrated and confused. I think this relates to the fact that I’m getting too demanding in other areas as well. I expect her to be on the bit, round, and moving off my leg at all times. To a certain extent, this level of expectation is good, but I think I’ve moved beyond reasonable. Yesterday in my lesson, after I found myself wanting to smack her with the dressage whip to get the right-lead canter, despite the pony being tired and cranky, I threw down the whip and have put a moratorium on its usage until I can get my emotions under control.
Ultimately, the problem is that she is too good for me. I have too high of expectations, but she tries so hard to do as I ask despite being tired or confused. I need to listen better when she objects, because she is the least contrary horse I have ever met. If she doesn’t respond, there’s a good reason. For example, my trainer told me to practice cantering a pole, and I cantered the pole for 15 minutes on Monday. This evidently tired her out. I noticed that she was tired Tuesday, but I still muscled her around and insisted on good transitions. She just said “ok mom” and tried her best.
The problem, I think, is that when I first started riding her, I had no expectations so I had infinite patience. I now have expectations, but no patience. I need to go back to coaxing her into communication with me, instead of bludgeoning her over the head with demands.
This is ever my tendency: demanding, pushy, dominant. With a horse that pushes back for the fun of it, this works well. For an angel of a wonder-pony, like Surya, who tries to do what I ask no matter what, this borders on abuse. Thankfully, we both have at least one trait in common…we don’t hold grudges, and we don’t get mad (just frustrated). I will apologize, and we will move forward with “soft and flexy” in mind.
Does anyone else feel like they’re walking through the world just trying not to hurt anyone?
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